Today is my youngest sister and sibling Nicki birthday so I wrote her an open letter and decided to share it(I got her permission to). I don’t know how many of you have divorced parents or was raised by a single parent but I was and it affected me tremendously. My mother did an amazing job but there were things that she couldn’t protect me from or feelings that she couldn’t prevent from me from feeling. My relationship with my sister was directly affected by the relationship or lack there of that I had and have with our father. Here’s the letter:

To my not so baby, baby sister, I want to wish you a happy 21st Birthday. We didn’t grow up together nor were we close. In fact, I was quite jealous of you and tried not to like you for a long time. You see, you had our father. You got to live with him and grow up with having your dad in your household, while I didn’t. Even though it wasn’t your fault and you had no control over that, seeing you was a constant reminder of what I was lacking. I felt no connection to you for a long time. Yes I knew you were my sister but I didn’t feel for you what I felt for my other two sisters. Maybe it was because I never allowed myself to. I remember when our other sister Carolyn told me how much you loved us and you had pictures of us in your room, I just shrugged it off and said to myself, why would she have so many pictures of us. To be honest, I don’t even know or remember when it was that we started speaking regularly or began building a bond. Maybe it was 2 years ago when Chace and I visited Guyana and got to spend some real time with you for the first time. I got to know you and see your heart and I must say, you are an exceptional young woman. You have a smile that could bright up any room and an infectious laugh to go with it. I could sit here and be mad at myself for not taking the time to get to know you sooner but I know that God’s timing is perfect and we connected at the right moment. I am so proud of you Allison Denica Thomas. You are everything that I could and would want in a baby sister. You are smart, you’re absolutely beautiful inside and out, you’re funny, charismatic, ambitious and so much more. As you are turning 21 and entering into full adulthood my prayer for you is that you enjoy life, but more importantly continue to seek the Lord. Always put him first and ask him daily, hourly to guide your steps. As your oldest sister, I vow to always be there for you and try my best to be an example to you. I love you a million, and so does Chace. Sending you all the love and light in the world. Happy, Happy Birthday big little sis 🎈💋🎊🎉💃🏾🎂.