You may have heard about the scandal surrounding super producer Harvey Weinstein. If you haven’t, over a dozen women have come forward with allegations of sexual assault and harassment. That sparked the “me too” campaign. Statistics show that nearly every woman has sexually assaulted or harassed at some point in their life. That is appalling but it’s also very sad. I remember when it happened to me. I was in my early 20s and it was by a guy that I dated for a while but wasn’t dating at the time. In fact, I was dating someone else. I remember I had an interview at Applebee’s to be a bartender and it was close by to his house so I said I would stop by after. When I got there, we were just chilling, watching tv and then we started kissing and fooling around. When he proceeded to take things further, I repeatedly said stop, I don’t want to do this, I can’t do this. He completed disregarded my requests and next thing I know, he’s standing over me, both of my hands were held together by his. He positioned himself between my legs so I could no longer kick him, slides my panties to the side and enters me. I remember at that point, I just gave up. I laid my head back and just let him finish. All the while with tears running down my eyes. When he was finished, I got up without saying a word, wiped myself up and left. I remember him telling me to stop acting like I was mad and that I was teasing him. When I got home I called my friend and I told her what happened. Yes, this was someone that I had a long relationship with and had had sex with multiple times but this time I knew it was different. It was something that I didn’t want to happen. I felt violated. It felt like someone snatched something from me. I wanted to erase the fact that it happened. The next day I was so sad at work. Another friend and I were out to lunch at I told her what happened. I also blamed myself. I felt like I shouldn’t have went over there, I shouldn’t have worn that dress, I shouldn’t have kissed him, I shouldn’t have been messing around with him, I shouldn’t have put myself in that position. It took me years to realize and understand that it wasn’t my fault! It doesn’t matter what happened, No means No! I didn’t even want to call it rape. This was someone that I was cool with. I couldn’t call the cops, I couldn’t file a report, I couldn’t ruin his life. He had kids, he had a career, he has family. How could I do that to someone. I know that these are the same thoughts and feelings that a lot of victims, if not all go through. I’m sharing my story because someone may be dealing with these same feelings and blaming themselves. It’s not your fault. I want to also convey the message that we must stick together as women, and as humans. Men need to stand up for us as well and tell other men that this is unacceptable. We need to have open dialogue about this. No means no! Whether it’s before or during, if at any point, she said no or stop then you do just that! This is something that affects us for the rest of our lives. Some are able to cope with it better than others. To this day, I will never forget the feeling that I felt that day and the days after. I don’t know how I got through it but I think I just repressed it and eventually acted as if it never happened. This is the first time I’m speaking about it openly. I didn’t even realize how painful it still is until I started writing this blog. I hope that my sharing this, it can not only start the conversation but someone else can know that they’re not alone. I’m grateful that God did not let this destroy me. Instead, it’s helping me to bring awareness to a very serious issue that’s happening every day. I know that I am healed by his stripes and whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. Happy Tuesday and Be Blessed ❤️