What does it mean to have a friend?

To me, a friend is someone you can count on in good times and bad. More importantly a friend should be someone who you are equally yoked with. One with whom you can share your dreams and aspirations with, one who can encourage and uplift you when needed and one who can pray for you amongst other things. The older I got, the more I’ve come to this realization. When I was younger, I kept friends and hung around people that I either grew up with or went to school with. As I got older, some of those friendships either ended or faded. The dynamics of a lot of those friendships and relationships changed as I began to grow and evolve as a person, as a woman, a mother and as a Christian. Many times, we feel compelled to remain friends with people we have known for a long time…this is dangerous rhetoric for many reasons.

Here’s a few things that I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older:

• People usually don’t change. They are inherently who they are. People do have the ability to evolve and grow if they are self-aware and willing to do the work, but at their core, their character usually doesn’t change. So, when someone shows you who they are believe them!

• We may experience people differently. Someone may be great to you but mean to me. So don’t let anyone diminish and discount your experience because it wasn’t theirs. My truth is my truth, and yours is yours.

• To piggyback on point #2, I may not be for everyone, and everyone may not be for me. That’s ok. Set boundaries and move on. God calls us to love everyone but this does not mean that you have to be friends or in a relationship with everyone. Know who your people are, and act accordingly with those who aren’t.

• And finally, it’s ok to outgrow people. As we grow and evolve, so do our interests, wants, and needs. This means that our relationships should change and evolve as well. Especially in today’s world, we must be extremely vigilant and careful of the company that we keep. The Bible says in Proverbs 22: 24-25, Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. The Apostle Paul also warns us in Corinthians 15:33, not to be misled because “Bad company corrupts good character”.

As you continue to move about your day, ponder on these things and continue to pray and ask God for discernment to know the difference between good and bad friends. Wishing you a blessed Friday ❤️.